Objection!

I Object. There, I said it, and unfortunately, it is true. Not, “I object” like in a court room, nor “iobject”, which I am sure is something apple will be rolling out soon, I, meaning me, “object”, as in the noun, that the dictionary defines as: “object, noun, ob–ject, a material thing that can be seen or touched”. Being as far from an English scholar as humanly possible, I am not sure I can make up a new verb from a noun that already has a verb of a different meaning, but I am going to anyway, and I apologize if I shouldn’t have. I object, meaning I way too often see people as objects and not people. Proper english would be, I all too often objectify people. 

We all do it, some more than others, but objectifying a person is never in the spirt of loving them. We are told that the the two most important commandments are love God and love you neighbor, meaning everybody else, yes everybody. If you are objectifying them, you aren’t loving them, because you are no longer looking at them as people, but things. 

We do this by labeling them. “He is an idiot!”. “She is nosy”. The news recently has been full of coverage of Paula Dean, the once beloved cooking show hostess, being fired for using the “n-word”. In other words, she used a term that labeled african american people not as individual people, but objects. Then the court of public opinion quickly pointed out that she is a “racist”. She is no longer a person, who may struggle with her own demons, she is now objectified as well. You see we all do it, all the time. In this case it can feel justified, but I don’t think that is how God wants us to see it. You see people of all backgrounds are still people, individuals, made by God in his image, but we are ALL to quick to forget this.

How about the two guys looking at the girl on the beach in her bikini. Are they looking at the beauty of her soul, or are they looking at her as an object to fulfill lustful desires? Would they look at her the same if she was a bit larger and wearing shorts and a tee shirt? Likely not, but they are not looking at her the person, but her the object. I wonder how that all changes if we add to the mix that it is God’s daughter they are ogling! I know if it were my daughter, I’m would not be happy, and I am not omnipresent, nor all powerful. I know, but, after all,  she is just a tramp seeking attention going out dressed like that, I mean what does she expect! Again, we on the “good” side, have to watch how we label as well.

Here is one! How about the A$$ #@%& who cuts you off in the car. Now there is one case that we can justify converting into an object. I mean after all she has no conscious, or care for others, or she would be more considerate in her driving right? Well maybe, but would you feel any different if you knew that she was driving around just to get out of the house, because her abusive husband just beat her up in front of their three kids. Is she still an A$$ #@%&? Or, does she deserve your love and compassion?

You see, we are all people. We are all flawed, and we all deserve love and compassion. Oftentimes, those who appear to deserve it the least, need it the most. Their actions are often cries of pain and loneliness. We are all made to love and be loved, but we often deny ourselves and each other the gift of doing just that. We objectify people to distance ourselves from them, to justify our actions, to make ourselves feel superior, or in some cases, to fulfill our own needs or desires. We are all different, and yet we are all the same - made perfectly by God in His image. But we are made to learn to love and understand our fellow man. In doing so, we learn the unconditional love that God has for us and has designed us for, and in that, we find Him!

Yhea God!

Soul Fool- The proof of the pudding is in the eating

I have this restaurant I love to go to. The food is exceptional, the service is great, and the owner and I have a fast developing friendship. Now, I will say sometimes, I go in with a hankering for the perfect burger, which they know just how to make, and He will serve me up a risotto, that was not exactly what I had in mind when I arrived. However, it is always ends up being the perfect meal and I never leave disappointed or with regrets. Oh, and did I tell you the best part, the owner decided years ago, that he was willing to pick up the tab for anyone who wants to eat at his establishment. 

Now the problem is how do I share this find with my friends. When you find something this good, you just want to run around and tell the world. The problem is, if it is all you talk about, everyone thinks you are crazy. When you tell them it is that amazing and their bill will be paid, many are skeptical and want to know what the catch is. If you say it is the best, with too much force, you end up making them defensive about their favorite restaurant, and then, they shut down and don’t want to hear anything else you have to say. 

There is another issue. Many of us who have found this incredible bistro, all love it for different menu items. This often creates confusion for people who have not tried it. If I am raving about the best steaks ever, and then someone else talks about how this is the unparalleled sushi, and then little Johnny says how heavenly the pizza and french fries are, it can create doubt. How can a place that specializes in pizza, have any credibility in sushi, or fine dining? It defies common logic. Of course it is possible, but it takes a bit of a leap of faith to be open to believing it. Once you cross that imaginary obstacle, the proof of the pudding is truly in the eating, then you can decide for yourself.

There are many types of people out there all with different expectations and needs in their food preferences. There are those who always want the same, predictable experience. There are those looking for adventure in dining. Some want quality, some want volume, some are all about value, and others presentation. There are also some people who, for various reasons, don’t like to eat out and want to just eat at home. So for their own reasons, people may or may not be very receptive to your suggestion of a new place to eat.

How can you tell your friend from India, Raj, that your restaurant has better indian food than the Patel family, who’s recipes have been perfected by their family for generations? You see no matter what you say, you must say it with care, as to not offend. If you put down his culture, traditions and family eatery, you only alienate him, you make the idea of dining with you, unattractive. Even the the owner, of my favorite place, warns about maintaing loving friendships over everything else. You see, He feels that as long as you tell them about His restaurant, He is happy to try and convince them Himself to try it, but you forcing your will on them usually ends in hard feelings, and they will lose all desire to sample His cooking.

Now, I know, that some people want to push their own restaurant on everybody. Often we do it, because we are insecure and feel safer in numbers, or because we don’t want them getting sick by eating in an unhealthy or unclean cafe. The truth be told, most of us just want to share our excitement with the awesome establishment we have come to love. The food is good, healthy nourishing, the owner is a dear friend and the fact that the bill is paid is an believable blessing. The fact is, that we are not always well equipped to channel our enthusiasm properly, it is something we need to work on. We want people to feel our enthusiasm, not push us away, of feel hurt or intimidated by our tactics.

We each have a inherent need to share our excitement, about things we are passionate about. The issue is, we need to do so, in love and not in judgement or with a sense of superiority. We need to do so in a manner respecting that other people may have a restaurant they are just as passionate about and they may not be ready to eat elsewhere, or immediately jump at our suggestion to eat elsewhere, just because we said to. So to them, we need to talk in open discussions about our eatery and be willing, as well, to allow them to discuss theirs, letting them know all along, that while they may not choose to join us right now, that if they change their mind, at any point, we would love to save them a seat at our table. But we also need to accept the fact that not everybody will try it, and we need to also respect their decisions to choose to decline our invitation.

There will be some who are hungry, who can’t wait to check it out and taste all of the courses. Others will join us,  who have not felt welcomed at, or liked the food at their current restaurant. They will be anxious to join us and eat, and get to know the proprietor. These people will be the ones we can share our next meals with, and hopefully, over time with loving encouragement, our other friends will join us, as they see our continued loyal patronage at our friends restaurant!